For seven years, I have grieved with hope. When our 16 year old son died July 29th, 2011, I clung to God, to His Word, to hope and faith. Then, on Wednesday, Oct. 10th, 2018, I once again received that earth-shattering phone call. Only this time, it was my mother. My precious, tenacious, quick-witted, butterfly-obsessed mother was hit and killed while crossing a street with her husband.
And my faith? It is shaken. While I have the assurance that she, like my son, is alive in heaven, I am doubting, not God’s goodness, but His plan. Nothing makes sense. Nothing could have prepared us for this, and I feel cheated because this amazing woman who thought she’d never find true love or happiness, finally found her “Knight in Shining Armor” and married the love of her life at age 72, just 16 months ago.
I don’t know how to reconcile the fact that I prayed for 30 years for my mother to find a Godly man, someone who would love her as much as I do and care for her with such tenderness as she deserved, and then rip her violently away from him and us after just 16 short months of marriage. I’d never seen my mother more happier in her life than in the last 16 months.
And so how do I grieve with hope? How do I, we, go on? My mother loved Jesus. She put her trust, faith, and hope in Him. And so I, too, will do the same. I will continue to believe, though I do not see. I will continue to walk by faith and not by sight. I will cling to the Savior’s Word that “…hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.” (Romans 8:24-25)
My siblings and I and my mom’s husband and family are devastated. Will you pray for us, please? Will you pray that we would hope in God? May we grieve with hope in the God of hope.
Once again grieving with hope,
Angie, Matt’s mom and Mary’s daughter.