Mother’s Day for the bereaved mother

Ann Voskamp wrote a profoundly moving post for Mother’s Day: The most life-changing thing a woman can do for herself this Mother’s Day…What a mother really wants. It’s powerful and truthful and speaks to probably every mother on this big, amazing planet.

But after reading it, I found myself thinking, “No. No, that’s not all what every mother wants.” Because, for bereaved mothers, Mother’s Day is painful. Mother’s Day is just another public, neon-flashing sign that declares “Your child is not here!” It is salt to an open wound.

What does every bereaved mother really want?

They wanted to be out-lived by their child(ren).

Ann’s right, however. Every mother needs a “truckload of Grace.” Especially the bereaved mother.

Friends, this Mother’s Day, will you remember the mother whose child is no longer here? Will you give the best Mother’s Day gift you can give to a bereaved mom?

Speak their child’s name. Talk about them. Ask her about him/her. Acknowledge that Mother’s Day is hard for her. Tell her she is still a mother.

The hardest thing about Mother’s Day for a bereaved mom? Their child is gone.

The best thing about Mother’s Day for the bereaved mom? Love remains.

And their love for their child yearns to be recognized this Mother’s Day, every Mother’s Day. Give the bereaved mother grace this weekend. Pray for God’s grace to overwhelm her. It doesn’t matter if she has other children. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 30 years since her child died. I can guarantee you she still loves that child, still misses that child, still longs to celebrate Mother’s Day with that child. She’s not being ungrateful for what she has. She’s not “stuck” in the past. She’s doing what she does best for that child: loving him/her.

This Mother’s Day it’s okay to tell the bereaved mother, “Happy Mother’s Day…to all of your children.”

Blessings,

Angie signature

 

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Nobody puts Baby in the corner

If you’re a certain age, you know where this line comes from. No 80’s movies pop quiz today, though, folks. Instead, I wanted to throw the line out there, but jerk it a bit. Here’s what I mean and where I’m going with it:

Have you felt, like Baby, that you’ve been put in the corner lately? Perhaps there’s a situation in your life where you’ve begged God for deliverance, but instead, He’s put you in the corner. The corner isn’t a comfortable spot, is it? Sometimes this isolation in the corner feels a bit like we’re being punished. We think our Father is ticked off at us, that we’ve done something wrong. We feel as if He has abandoned us.

I know how that feels. I know what it’s like to wonder, “What did I do wrong?” “Why is God mad at me?” “Isn’t this enough punishment?” “Where is He?”

Friend, that simply isn’t true.

God has not put you in the corner to punish you. He has not abandoned you.

You feel isolated and alone, and it would seem all of your friends are too busy for you or are dealing with their own kind of hard. You look out at the landscape of your life and all is empty, the horizon barren. But, Friend, though your feelings are valid, they are also misleading, a red herring. You can sink fast if you swim after them.

A “time-out” in the corner isn’t what it appears to be. Could it be that God is seeking an audience of one with you? Could it be He is drawing you away to Himself? Could it be He is revealing Himself to you, proving to you that He is all you need? That He alone is enough?

This isolation, solitary confinement? It isn’t a form of ostracism, Friend. It’s an invitation to enter the sanctuary, the Holy of Holies. It is a call to meet with Jesus, to trust Him in the midst of the storm that rages on around you. Your life has become a slippery, hard dance floor, and the spinning of your world has left you dizzy and breathless. But you are not without a partner, my friend. Keep your eyes on Him, follow His lead, and trust Him to lift you higher. He will not drop you. He won’t let go.

He will meet you in the corner, on the dance floor, or anywhere. Dance like you’ve never danced before.

Blessings,

Angie signature

Reeling

The world is reeling today, the day after the election. Many are reeling with shock, disbelief, and rage. Others are rejoicing, praising the heavens, and exhaling with relief. One event, two incredibly different reactions.

Me? I’m doing neither: no shock, no rejoicing.

Just peace. Perfect peace.

How is that possible, some wonder? Friends, it’s possible because my hope was never in us, our country, or it’s leaders. My hope is in God. He alone is the only one who will never disappoint. He alone is our peace. He alone sets up kingdoms and authorities. He alone is sovereign.

My hope is not of this world for I know that this world is not my home.

When your faith is in Him, the things that shake this earth cannot shake your faith. Elections come and elections go, but Christ remains. Peace is possible because the Prince of Peace presides.

What about you, friends? Where is your peace and joy? I’m praying for us all.

real-joy-ann-voskamp
Ann Voskamp

Blessings,

Angie signature