A teenage driving faith

Child #5 completes Driver's Ed training this morning. I. can't. even. #deepbreaths Disbelief and trepidation wrestle atop my thoughts, and I wonder whether excitement and faith will claim a "King of the Hill" victory on this mountain of emotions. Here we go again. Another child behind the wheel. Another test of faith and trust in...

Advertisements

2922 days…and counting

2922 days. That's how long it's been since I've seen your face or heard your voice. Eight years since I've watched you saunter into the kitchen looking for food or heard the cupboard door open in anticipation of pouring yourself a box of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal. Oh, Matt. There are, still, no words...

The crushing of approaching time

As I write this, we are exactly one week out from the worst day of our lives, a day I never want to relive. Eight years ago on July 29th, 2011, our 16 year old son, our oldest child, died. My Mateo. Matthew. Matt. His name means "Gift of God." And that he was. IS. ...

The dark nights

"...we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;..." (2 Cor. 1:8b) Have you been there, friend? Have you been burdened excessively, beyond your strength? Has the burden been so much so that you despaired of life?  I have. More than once. A night last month was one of those...

A bittersweet 4th of July

Nine years ago we took our last family photo as a family of nine on July 4th, 2010. It was the last time all nine of us would be together in a picture. What I wouldn’t give to have had one last family photo the following 4th of July, 2011. We didn’t know eight years...

Link sharing: Let Your Waiting Say, ‘I Trust You’

If grief teaches you nothing else, it will teach you about patience. The ache of missing my mom (and my son), pools just below the surface of my heart each day. This morning I came across a Desiring God article that spoke to the tender, hurting places in me. I'm sharing it here on my...

I look at her picture and disbelief stares back at me.

I look at her picture and disbelief stares back at me.   Shock wears off slowly with a sudden death, moving imperceptibly like an iceberg. It's been eight months now. Though I attended my mother's funeral and saw the shell of her body in the casket, I can't yet comprehend she's gone, that I will...

When the lilacs are blooming

Today was supposed to be her two year wedding anniversary. A lifetime ago, my family and I gathered together on an exceedingly joyful and rainy day to witness my mom getting married. Oh, God, what I wouldn't give to call her today and wish her a happy anniversary! We welcomed into the family that day...

A graduate and grief

I'm a firm believer that when life overwhelms, you seek help. #ThankYouMom Life is overwhelming right now. The tsunami of grief once again rushing in. Today, my daughter graduates college. My heart bursts with pride. But grief, like drops of black food coloring squeezed into the batter of yummy, sweet goodness, tinges everything. Everything. It...