Link sharing: Let Your Waiting Say, ‘I Trust You’

If grief teaches you nothing else, it will teach you about patience. The ache of missing my mom (and my son), pools just below the surface of my heart each day. This morning I came across a Desiring God article that spoke to the tender, hurting places in me. I'm sharing it here on my...

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I look at her picture and disbelief stares back at me.

I look at her picture and disbelief stares back at me.   Shock wears off slowly with a sudden death, moving imperceptibly like an iceberg. It's been eight months now. Though I attended my mother's funeral and saw the shell of her body in the casket, I can't yet comprehend she's gone, that I will...

When the lilacs are blooming

Today was supposed to be her two year wedding anniversary. A lifetime ago, my family and I gathered together on an exceedingly joyful and rainy day to witness my mom getting married. Oh, God, what I wouldn't give to call her today and wish her a happy anniversary! We welcomed into the family that day...

A graduate and grief

I'm a firm believer that when life overwhelms, you seek help. #ThankYouMom Life is overwhelming right now. The tsunami of grief once again rushing in. Today, my daughter graduates college. My heart bursts with pride. But grief, like drops of black food coloring squeezed into the batter of yummy, sweet goodness, tinges everything. Everything. It...

When Mother’s Day Just Feels Cruel

So here we are again. For weeks on end, television, advertisements, billboards, and social media sites have shouted “Happy Mother’s Day!” Happy Mother’s Day! What a great source of love, and what a tremendous grief for those of us who must “celebrate” this day without our precious child(ren) and/or mother, and for those whose arms...

When It’s All Just Too Much

Wednesday night was the breaking point for me. The great griefs of this last year became too much. I cannot carry them any longer. I am buried beneath the weight of it all. I cannot stand. Bit by bit, piece by piece, I have lost parts of myself, and I no longer know who I...

A birthday without a son

24 years. My son would be 24 years old. I can't even. The ache in my heart crushes my breath, and I struggle to breathe, remind myself to inhale. Another birthday without him. The eighth birthday without Matt. Oh, God, how can I endure this?  I know there are people who just don't get it,...

Common responses to grief

https://www.facebook.com/griefshare/posts/10156036212046105?__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARClc_dQ8flO-YOq-AKnJV-wFN8yMCzEkqF8RuyDNro45OlzhRQMOk74GrG78McaBvxYaDe3n1_Mn-BXHDctp06vBVG0jdxCWpX25bp92B9C8YEDDZcW0PlRMiIl_XDy6cJ36BWcA6aDhJfFnifFQSSIci_9E6TWPi0ODXv_aGa7cbyMKyEL5loYckurw7nfcJ6_VCU-S32AZL_uwCzeoSEFNggn3XqC73SwB9d6Jd9TwL_f_pvfOJsRmcK-DU5CthK0c_9DdmYOo-3KViAJYFx5cG3ypex20H0C0ySBs7LSXO7Zcx9F6-SCNYSmA05JayHt1p03ZuVSaw&__tn__=-R "What have you stopped doing in the midst of your grief?" Honestly? I have stopped socially interacting with people. I have no energy or desire to chit-chat. Building new friendships? I'd like to, but the reality is that it takes time, vulnerability, and effort, all of which I don't have or want to risk expending....

A pregnant kind of grief

Five months. I don't know how to put words to this grief. I don't know how to describe a pain that is indescribable. Like a pregnant woman who counts the days, weeks, and months of pregnancy, the bereaved, I, count the same. Only the days, weeks, and months I count are a painful tearing away...